What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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