just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
I'm so disappointed in myself I can actually taste it.
Does it taste like semen?
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
Am I allowed to compare getting cum'd on the face to a warm summer rain?
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
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