I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I don't know what's more sad. The fact that I'm genuinely impressed about being sober for a whole 3 days or the fact that I want to get wasted in celebration.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
Nothing says "i love you" more than flowers and potatoes
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Randomize