Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
It's like that thing with the devil and the angel except one shoulder has orgasms and the other has stuffed crust pizza and depression.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
Randomize
