I need a shot of tequila, and quick death
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
Most likely. calling 911 isnt usually something i do the first time i hang out w. someone, but hey. its a good story now.
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
How did i get home and why am i wearing someone elses shorts?
1. Not sure how 2. You showed up naked, we had to dress you.
Now just crop his dad out and add it to the spank bank.
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
