I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
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