The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
The best thing happened. Some guy was butchering Conway Twitty at karoke and the power went off in the whole bar. And someone shouted "you pissed jesus off when you messed with conway!"
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
My boobs are hoarders, they steal food and hide it. Greedy bitches.
He's my blizzard buddy. We're blowing lines and doing a 3D game of thrones puzzle
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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