I threw up under water while wearing a hockey helmet last night. Awesome.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
where does the pee come out of this thing
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I'm sitting in the hospital with him while he's still half drunk with a busted leg because he thought he could do parkour off a rock
Randomize
