Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Slept at my ex's best friends house while my ex was locked out and I walked by him sleeping in his car this am
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
