You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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