talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
I got back at him the only way I knew how, by hooking up with the guy he hates from their rival fraternity.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I'm going to give blood tomorrow. Prepare yourself for pictures and a cynical poem about the heart and its level of tangibility.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
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