It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
You pole danced in your parka.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
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