I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I just lived through a real life episode of jersey shore.
I think it’s appropriate to celebrate the start of mother’s day at the bar with the men that almost made me a mother
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