just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
In America we eat man semen.
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
omg. don't know how to spell his name, but hot new zealand guy's dick is magic
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Yeah. I had to take off my shirt. It's soaked in weakness.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
He told you he loved you. Then you wanted to find a chainsaw to cut his dick off.
Randomize
