Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
The neighbors outside are screaming at one another about God knows what and everyone is too scared to go outside and we NEEd more beer
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
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