The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
his facial hair looked like he just ate out someone's ass
i don't even remember going to get food. i think i got gas too.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Randomize
