I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
