I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
I should do something nice for her. Like sign her up for "What Not To Wear."
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You may now shotgun with the bride
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize