So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
So my mind was like YOU ARE TOTALLY GONNA MAKE IT TO CLASS TODAY but then my body was all LOL NO YOU AIN'T.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
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