Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
All I ever wanted was my bed, Tylenol, and total darkness. Instead I had a pervert with porno posters who blares german rock calling me tootsie pop. How was your saturday night?
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