You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
