youre lurking in front of me
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
I feel like the physical embodiment of the pot leaf eyes smiley face
Randomize
