Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
Met the hot new neighbor. She's into country music and giving really good bjs. Latter made up for the former.
Randomize
