I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
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