I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You kept asking her which dick pills worked the best. She's a grandmother.
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
Randomize
