Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
It's cosmic balancing. My vagina is an instrument of karmic retribution.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
But the problem is you celebrate with your heart but I celebrate with my liver
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Randomize
