i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
Randomize
