Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
i need to find a notary that isn't going to turn me in for blatantly lying to the us and chilean governments
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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