Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
Just sold all of my pants in order to buy tonight's whiskey. Goodbye, high functioning alcoholism. Hello, Dad.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
does the cute hipster in the kitchen belong to you?
if not i want to bang those glasses off his face
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize