I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
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