does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
like teasing for 28 minutes, then the very last 2 minutes is where is ALL goes down. I'm talking, rings off, stable sitting position, hand job madness.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
i'm about to be the still-drunkest person on the ellipticals
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
I love that they love me even though I might not exsist, its kinda like Im God.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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