so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
