She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Like we were literally doing coke off his insulin pump
Full disclosure. I fucked the fatty from work and shit is weird now.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
