y did u give ur computer a hand job?
At least make sure they are 18
Why
YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
woke up this morning with a pool of champagne in my purse. apparently i was saving it for later.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
Randomize