saw you had $9 in your checking acct, left $20 on your dresser so you won't be a whore this weekend
Applied 4 a nanny job usin a Legit Site. Xplain to me how the couple I found offered me a 3some complete with 'sexy pics' of the wife blowin hubby. wtf?
obviously you're part succubus.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
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