i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
You told me you aren't worried about the police that you've been training for this an that the last three months of your life have been devoted to building up your stun gun tolerance and pepper spray recovery time.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
There is nothing worse then the feeling after you've held in farts all night..
What's his name?
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Randomize
