i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
He's really hot. I think he's gonna be my reason to shave this winter.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Who was that dick in the suit telling us to stop drinking?
The priest.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
Randomize
