Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
Boobs speak an international language.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Woke up in the middle of my kitchen clutching a cheesy gordita crunch
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
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