no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
Randomize
