took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
Everyone says I win the strip club
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
