Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
It's official. 2011 is the year of sport fucking
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
Randomize
