So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Ya these assholes wanted to like sit around and eat cupcakes and watch the notebook. I was like fuck you, I want to go make some people uncomfortable in public.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
I would rather her be sleeping with someone new than getting to go Harry Potter world before me...
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