Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Are u guys proud? I puked my brains out last night at a strip club. While my two fave strippèrs held my hair
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
So I guess I walked across campus with "pat my ass" in sharpie on my forehead.
You deserve it, you colossal cock block.
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