I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
she was pretty much dry humping my leg when her boyfriend walked in. he says "you should probably leave." all i could come up with was "YEAH, I KNOW!"
Found out that no one else got Christmas bonuses...and you said nothing good could come from sleeping with my boss.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Drinking hard cider in a room full of freshman girls. Never felt so secure of my manhood
I probably wouldn't
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
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