I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
He sent me a poorly photoshopped picture of his shaved dick wearing a Hot Dog on A Stick titled "Shorndog"...
sometimes when you're high at work you just have to say fuck it and eat the dog treats
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
