i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
Just cleaned someone else's sperm off of my bedroom wall. Never throwing a house party again.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I knew us throwing ourselves at him back in the day would pay off. I'm gonna b a divorcees rebound. Score!
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
