just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
Just facebooked the guy whose name you're yelling in there. So you're aware, his interests include "swearing at babies" and "Ice luge"
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
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