I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Hey, it's not my fault that you had a shitty bed frame that couldn't handle the rough sex you're into.
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
honestly, you deserve someone taller anyways
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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