You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
You have to just make a conscious effort not to make out with people when he's around if you want to keep him in your life?
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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You're moving up the public shitting ladder
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