i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
you alive?
ya, the episode of maury where people are afraid of things are on, i had to keep livin
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
