Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I'm currently being signed up to be painted nude for a college art class. ah yes best high decision ever
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I don't want my vagina anymore.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize