Christians are straight up FREAKS
Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
All she gave me for breakfast was raw toast. How can she expect me to eat raw toast?
You mean bread?
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
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