Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
Sounds like sex on a twister board.
An idea that is both hilarious and intriguing...
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Randomize
