I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
