he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
It got awkward when the girl working at planned parenthood continued to hit on me, after she knew about my STDs.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
Randomize
