ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
Update: still drunk enough to get lost in Zellers and to think my reflection was my mother. Awesome day.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I imagine my service panda will provide sufficient protection. At the very least it will be an irresistible cuddly distraction while I make good my escape.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
No. DON'T DO IT. Friends don't let friends fuck clowns.
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
He wants to play improv games now whenever he gets drunk. Sometimes I just do not have the energy for that kind of a thing
Randomize
