if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
Not sure how my purse ended up in the bushes last night... Or why there was a noodle strainer in the toilet.
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Wanna get business drunk and go play golf?
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize