Starbucks introducing alcohol. i hear angels singing.
i think the sales of Rosetta Stone are directly related to the size of that woman's tit's
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
I wish we couldve been like jesus and the desiples tongith
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Gramp just called her sex-on-a-stick. AKA HE CALLED HER A WHORE. My 75 year old grandfather just called your ex's new thing a whore.
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Randomize
