No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Randomize
