She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
he sent me the greatest dick pic I've ever received.
he actually took the time to cut a fingertip off of a glove then put it on his dick like a beanie. he called it hipster dick.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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