dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
When i woke up this morning she asked me 'when did you first find out that you could see the future.' I gotta stop drinking.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
