a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
The girl beside me at the laundromat is bitching a guy out on the phone for jizzing on her bedspread. She had to use a triple machine to wash it.
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
Everytime I come home this stoned I masturbate in the shower for that long, its like my lonely ritual. Accept me.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
