You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
he must have thought the song was "ejacuate on the dance floor"
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I’m home. Please don’t call me unless you have an arterial bleed or you’re on fire. Love you 😘
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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