btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I just met his wife...she told me they have been having marriage problems and are spending his paychecks on marriage counseling...then she cried on my shoulder...NOW i feel like a bitch.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
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