i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
All I know is that if a letter starts with "I'm aware you jerked off in the bathroom last night," I don't want to finish reading it.
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
New reason to drink: alcohol makes soda taste like goddamn gold.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Maybe. I want to have sex at the fire station, most likely on one of the trucks. I wonder if I can finagle that before I tire of the spelling and grammatical errors in his texts.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
I traded some nice guy at the bar ten bucks and a pack of cigarettes for his leather jacket. I'm pretty sure I win at life. Whoever is in my phone as Tyler Durden, I thank you.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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