bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
LMAO I like how "don't worry I'll bring chasers" is your way of assuring things will be ok
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
