me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
Just woke up on a dolphin floaty wearing only a party hat. There's blood on the side of the pool and glass in the sauna. Worst fucking hangover. But some guy said he is making crepes so its ok
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
If I don't go to Australia I'm using that towards a new car. If I do I'll use it to buy a koala.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I feel like cursing someone's first born child right now. Like I wanna maleficent some bitch.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
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