True but thats because hes a fetus.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
Stop saying "make it happen". I'm not gonna say "hey, you should get naked with your sister and roll around together while I penetrate you both"
Yes. Do not say that. That will not make it happen.
Still. Make it happen
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
bought a large fruitopia from McDonalds at 7:45 this morning. Spilled it on the ground. Cried. THAT hungover.
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
