Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
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