you mean i was at the winter classic?
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
The guy at the bar repeatedly told us he was an off duty cop from out of town, that to normal people would be the time where you stop asking him to smoke a blunt with us
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Sounds like she has 4 first names. Like a sad version of Ricky bobby
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
when i woke up with 300+ messages I didn't except them to be about coyotes and burning shoes.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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