Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
I'm gonna have bed sores at the end of this hangover.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
Used my jumper cables as a bottle opener last night. Really pleased with my problem solving skills.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
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